The Wild

I think we all fantasize about deleting our social media pages at times. Over the years I have engaged in several purges, almost always with little to no regret. Sure, allot of work goes into building an online presence. There were certainly important connections that I regret walking away from, but at the end of the day I have come to realize a couple of things about myself and the nature of online community.

A) Its not you its me.

This is the line that I would lead with if I were to offer an explanation for why I left social media. I am simply not built for online friendships. There is some deficiency in me that makes it impossible to fully conceptualize someone in all of their humanity if I cannot sit across from them and have a meaningful conversation. I am trying to be better at this, but as stated, I think there may be a deficiency in my character that requires real world, face to face connection. Maybe I have trust issues?

Despite my skepticism of online community I have long been a participant in it. As an introverted and rather quiet person there is a certain appeal to the casual nature of online interactions. Many of the more difficult aspects of socializing are mitigated by the use of online communications, and it is easier to create the quiet moments I need to recharge.

In truth I can say with confidence that I used online activity as a means to overcome some of my more troubling social aversions. Over the years I grew multiple social media accounts to significant levels of success. The largest of them was a Facebook account which maxed out at ~ 5000 friends before going professional. It was just under 8000 followers when I decided to step away.

I realize that there is a real world value to building reach and connections. I also know there are significant drawbacks. Here is the question I would ask of anyone who is seeking fame or public recognition. What would you rather have – fame or fortune? Like everything, the law of diminishing returns must be considered. How much recognition is healthy, and when does it become burdensome.

Most people would say that fame leads to fortune, but that is one of the illusions of the internet age. Widespread recognition often does not lead to real economic opportunity. In fact, I would suggest that only a very narrow opportunity exists for those who wish to gain financially from online recognition. The word used is monetization. It is a broad term, but in current pop culture it refers to a process whereby internet content creators get paid for posting content online.

But remember – one wrong step and you can be publicly humiliated, canceled, or ruined personally and financially.

B) Going deeper: I thought it was me, but maybe its actually you?

First, I will say that it is rewarding to share the things we love with a broader audience. It is exciting to connect with people all over the world, and to see your content being liked and shared. Over the years I made several meaningful connections, and hopefully I helped a few people. There were lots of feel good moments, and I experienced very little of the internet’s “dark side” while using social media platforms. At least nothing blatant and in my face.

There is of course a but. I will explain with the help of an analogy:

A farmer has an apple orchard. The orchard is healthy, and produces lots of delicious apples. One day the rains stop. The farmer thinks nothing of it. Day after day it grows dryer and dryer as drought settles upon the land, but the farmer never thinks to water the trees. He assumes that they will continue to produce fruit as they always have. The drought continues, days to weeks, to months. Slowly the fruit withers, and eventually the orchard dies.

In our contemporary world we can equate water to money. Creators to trees. The farmer is all the myriad ways in which our culture and institutions reward people for the work they do. Of course its nice when the rain comes, but what about the hard times?

C) Is capitalism predatory?

To be fair there are a few ways for creators to monetize their content. My reach grew to the point that I was speaking with brands about their ambassador programs. Unfortunately I kept bumping up against the same problem: my values.

Over the years I have put allot of effort into developing what I consider a personal code. Any opportunity to monetize what I was doing on social media always required that I violate my most deeply held beliefs. I can be flexible when required, but I will not change who I am in pursuit of something as mercurial as internet dollars.

D) Conclusion: What if its not you or me, but simply a matter of incompatibility?

While people praise the onward march of society through scientific progress, I see a world that is drowning in cheap toxic garbage. Our air, food and water is slowly being poisoned. While our planet buckles under our collective burden, the most powerful among us waster their time on fruitless endeavors – or work diligently to further alienate humanity from its connection to the natural world which sustains us.

I refuse to sell people more useless garbage. I will not endorse the comfortable and cheaply packaged lies of modern consumerism. There is no model of monetization that would allow me the dignity and self respect that my code demands. I simply don’t want to be part of it.

Outro: Let this be a symbolic turning away. I have come to realize that investing more time into social media will only drag me further from my goals. As they say, you must close one door so that another may open. Until then, I shall wait patiently.

Peace and Love.